Its all about loving yourself…

How important is it to love yourself in such a way that you don’t let others take that liberty of hurting you?

Why do people hurt themselves because of others? I guess people get upset or sad depending on other’s actions and not because of their own. Which leads me to another question – why are we dependent on others for our happiness?

Whenever you talk to people nowadays, their reason for being sad or depressed is because of another person. It’s nearly impossible to NOT let a person hurt you but the least we can do is respect our own feelings and not to take things too seriously and preferably not think too much about it – the ifs and the buts

Once upon a time Iused to cry over literally everything but now I have become a kind of person who doesn’t really care a damn even if people bitch about me. You won’t believe the number of ridiculous questions I have to face everyday . I react to these questions by just smiling and nodding. The one thing I have understood over the years is not to expect people to understand you ALL the time. Their outlook is different, so is yours & mine. I’ve found out that by telling these people what they want to hear or what they feel is right, you appease them and yourself too. In this way, I don’t hurt them and myself in the process….

I love myself too much to let people hurt me again. Maybe I have had enough, that’s why. In the end, people are all selfish

At the moment…

I love myself..
I love my life….
I love my family……

Happy Friendship Day..!!

Its been a year since we started this blog, and one of my first post was on “Friendship Day”…Here i am again, writing on the same topic, but things have changed completely now. 

Now, that college is over, the meaning of friends has changed in my life.  With each passing day, you realize the importance of people around you, and of those people there are a selected bunch of “Friends”…

This poem i wrote for a very special friend of mine, but today i dedicate it to all my lovely friends on the special occasion of “Friendship day”…

 

You filled my life with happiness, when i was sad,

You filled my life with love, when i felt deserted,

You filled my life with colors, when it was black ‘n white,

You filled my life with music, when it was boring,

You filled my life with care & affection, when it hurt the most,

You lighted up my life, when it was dark,

You filled my life with “me”, & made me discover myself,

You filled my life with “Life”, & taught me the true meaning of life..,

 

You tolerated all my mood swings, my jitters, my tantrums,my crazy self; Today i THANK YOU, for all you gave me, for all you did for me and for everything i mean to you. I miss you a lot!!

These images i got in a lovely email from some lovely friends, so i though i should put them too, i hope u like them…!!

This is for everybody who loves their friends as much as i do, Love ya ‘ol..!!

Blank Noise : I Never Ask For It!!

No matter how well developed technically we become, our thoughts remain “archaic”, In India the society system is so messed up that we are tied up in a “Spider’s Web” and stuck! There’s apparently no way out…I feel the need to change this, especially the mindset of the people.  I am talking of an issue  we see every day in news i.e. “Eve Teasing”…This has become as issue which demands social & moral outrage. It is the same story everyday, filthy people tease girls, women in public places, streets, public transport etc. But it is a difficult crime to prove, as perpertrators often devise ingenious ways to attack women. 

 

How often have you been witness or mute spectator to ‘eve teasing’?
How many times have you whistled, leched, stalked or passed remarks at a girl or a woman on the streets ‘just for fun’?

I am sure nobody would be willing to answer that..

The girls/women those get haressed learn to be quiet and dont raise their voice against it, this is what makes it even more difficult to curb it. For those minority that actually do raise their voice, get nothing in return but a blame “Its your fault this happened to you, you were at the wrong place, at the wrong time wearing the wrong clothes”…blah blah blah…

 The people who actually think this way should RETHINK…!!! 

What do you say when a girl in a burqa with her head covered is whistled at?
When a mother of two,covered from her neck to ankles,taking her kids for a stroll in the park, is subjected to leery comments?
When a young girl going to college in a bus,dressed in a shapeless loose churidar-kurta, is pawed at by unknown hands,leaving her fuming & almost in tears?
When 40-year old middle-class working women in saris,waiting at a bus-stop, are the target of obscene vernacular film songs by cycling romeos.

Putting dresscode (salwar suits for girls in some colleges), is not the solution to the problem, those desparados don’t really bother before making a move. 

Think about it!

 

Its is all around us, sometimes we end up as mere spectators…but little do we realize how painful it must have been for the girl/lady who was subjected to it. Being a girl myself i feel the guilt…But now is the time to speak up…

 I believe a woman looks beautiful in just whatever she decides to wear and once she does it confidently..and no one can then dare to even look at her with a wrong intention. It is time everybody including the girls/women speak up on the issue & raise their concern saying, I NEVER ASKED FOR IT!!!

BLANK NOISE   is a volenteer led collective. I would request all of you to join them & support the social cause. As they say it

Volunteering is about:

• getting your hands dirty
• being a good listener
• being calm
• being enthusiastic
• being patient
• being persistent
• being open
• responsible
• putting in that extra bit
• about collective ownership
• about doing small things
• about making time
• about putting yourself out there
• about conviction

But it is worth it, join hands & help change the mindset of people around you…I salute Blank Noise for taking up such a noble cause which is generally ignored by people & is not considered of any importance…

 

Thank You Blank Noise…

I have already Voluntereed, what are you waiting for???

story to live by..

This came in an e-mail, which i found interesting.

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always
there for her. She told her boyfriend, ‘If I could only see
the world, I will marry you.’

One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.

He asked her, ‘Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?’ The
girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected
that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: ‘Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.’

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who
was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a
Gift

Today
before you say an unkind word – Think of someone who can’t speak.

Before
you complain about the taste of your food – Think of someone
who has nothing to eat.

Before
you complain about your husband or wife – Think of someone
who’s crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today
before you complain about life – Think of someone who died
too early on this earth.

Before
you complain about your children – Think of someone who
desires children but they’re barren.

Before
you argue about your dirty house someone didn’t clean or
sweep – Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before
whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.

And when
you are tired and complain about your job – Think of the
unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your
job.

But
before you think of pointing the finger or condemning
another – Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when
depressing thoughts seem to get you down – Put a smile on
your face and think: you’re alive and still
around.

College Life…

Now this post is gonna make me feel nostalgic..but still I have a lot to say today…

 

Since childhood, one thing that I was waiting for, was a glorious college life, all my fantasies were inspired only by “movies”…Especially like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai…etc etc.. xWith so many epectations from myself & my “luck”…I finally joined an engineering college…whoa…that was not such a big deal 4yrs back but still..!!

 

Now I am sitting at a juncture where my life is about to take a sharp U-turn..As only a few weeks are left for my college life to end…Suddenly life feels changed…I can already see responsibilities around the corner…

I wish I had a magic wand which could reverse my life & take me back to my first year in college so that I could re-live all those wonderful moments..but I guess that would never be true so…never mind..!! I should come back to the topic..

 

 

My College

 

 

 

“College Life”, well I had a simply mind-boggling and a very dramatic college life, “full of twists & turns”..Summarizing it is rather difficult but still, I have described a little bit about some good & bad things of my college life..

• Getting up early in the morning even before the sunrise (in the winters), was the first & the most difficult thing I had to do all these years.. Waking up early?? My parents still don’t believe I was able to do that…lol..Infact I guess I could see sunrise daily only thnx to the college administration otherwise I would have missed it!!
• Talking about sunrises…I also witnessed more than a couple of sunsets as well..those were some of the most tiring days..when i had to stay in college for even more than 12hours..

• The only nightmares I got were all in the “Ragging Time”…right from wearing tri-colour Jassi style cotton suits to bathroom slippers & making 2 pleats of oiled hair…Everything was compulsary..that was the “DressCode”..The college authorities did not seem to care & right infront of their eyes, poor children (us), full of attitude but still…would obey to almost everything our seniors would say… everybody was made to sing, dance, act, do everything they demanded of us including some senior’s assignments & never even dared to smile infront of them.. That was the tragedy of being a junior…having seniors sitting right on ur head whenever they were free…wishing them “Goodmorning & Goodafternoon” was even more important then wishing our teachers..

As there are two sides of a coin, this “ragging’ also had a flipside.. it made us comfy in college & helped us interact with people…it actually helped in a big way in boosting up my confidence..i realized this when i sat for a company interview & found out, some of the questions they asked me..were exactly the same some of my seniors had asked me during ragging!!

• But ofcourse, even our time came when we moved on to 2nd year & finally became seniors…”Bosses”…This was like a time for revenge for most of us, who made juniors do everything that happened to us in first year… …well that was definitely a one of a kind experience…

• Another great thing were the events in campus…right from The Engineers Day , Freshers Day , Sports Week to the Annual Fest…magnificent arrangement & atmosphere…college had finally started feeling like a second home..

• A horrendous experience I had was in making friends, i.e. choosing the best among the crowd.. …but still I managed to make a few..All of them were like real filmy characters…too surreal..

• But out of everything we did, something that made us really happy than attending lectures was bunking them!! And for those lectures which we just couldn’t skip (because of the fear of short attendance) we found an even better way…we’d play games(like bingo, tic-tac-toe, TDS, bollywood, etc) & listen to songs in those boring lectures & that would make them attendable for us!!

• We would Laugh till it hurt & sometimes literally roll on the floor laughing, mostly on our teachers…trust me ,making fun of people never felt so good before…and soon we were known as the “Laughing clowns” of the batch…while our batch mates wondered what we were laughing at…we’d be busy finding another “Bakra” to make a fool of..

• Those were really the days I’d cherish…forever…

• Whenever we bunked college, we got into inevitable problems, but all of them were so much fun & adventurous…The adrenaline rush sometimes made us tense, & sometimes curious…but still we managed to survive everytime..!!!

• Watching movies was another one-of-a-kind experience..we’d delibrately take the middle order seats & then shout & scream for every scence that we felt demanded an applause..

• My college life taught me to travel places, experience life, without a penny in my pocket…borrowing..lending…felt like a daily routine..i found out that going to road side thadis & dhabas was not so difficult after all & helped save money.. i have actually become money-minded now..

• This reminds me, travelling back to home at times when the college bus did not ply was another botheration…We would travel in City Buses (Red Line)..and believe me, that taught a lot of things.. especially facing the crowd in those buses..(here in jpr u have all the villagers travelling in such buses who know only marwari or rajasthani)…

• One enlightening experience was when we went for a college trip to Shimla & Chandigarh…oh my god, that was outrageous…the teachers who accompanied us turned up to be even more kiddish than us…& landed us in a big trouble (initiated by the students ofcourse)…but that day I realized we had better intellect and were more mature(even then) than those teachers…may god give them a little brain, i seriously pity those teachers with “NANO” brains … lol…but the credit of solving that problem goes to all my batch mates…

• We cheered, we played, we danced…we had the fun of a life time in these 4 years…

• And now as the college is about to get over the campus is filled with 4th yearites taking photographs of the campus & themselves at every nook and corner..filling diaries & slam books…exchanging contacts..and even rushing for lab files & projects..

• Talking of the college’s infrastructure..our college is amongst the best in the state & so we took full advantage of that, by coming to college regularly.. CANTEEN was where we’d spent all our spare time..had fights over who’s gonna pay for everything that we wanted to eat..stare at couples sitting there & make them conscious..We seldom went to the library..but, whenever we went there…we were thrown out most of the times & labelled “Hooligans” for our notorious acts…

College life brings back memories…good & bad…it has taught me so many things…changed my outlook towards life..towards people..

On a rather personal note, i feel..college days were sweet & sour…made us face the good & bad both..Living life “King-size”, was our motto all this while..Describing an experience such as this is just not possible, but still i tried to be as brief as i could be…

tum chalo toh hindustan chale…

                                     khud apni zindagi aur badal sakte ho tum

                                     ek vote se poora daur badal sakte ho tum

                                     kaanoon, muqadar,kismat ko,is system ko

                                     thoda aa lagao zor , badal sakte ho tum

                                      Ek vote se poora daur badal sakte ho tum

                                      tum chalo toh hindustan chale…

CASTE YOUR VOTE

JAI HIND…!!!!

“Eliminate Discrimination, not the girl child”.

Like CRY – Child Rights and You, I too believe that all children have an equal right to live, learn, play and develop their full potential – without any discrimination. But given the situation of the girl child in India, she is far more vulnerable to violation of rights.

I therefore join CRY’s campaign to “Eliminate Discrimination, not the girl child”.

I Pledge

“Before anything else I am an human being. As is this little girl.
The rights I enjoy are hers too.
She has a right to a home and family, education, play time, protection from harm and sickness. 
Most of all, she has the right to be a child.
A right that she is denied for no fault of hers.
And so I pledge to do whatever I can, to fight for her to have a childhood. 
With my skills, my resources, my heart. 
I will fight for her because I can and she can’t.“

I will take action myself

1. I will not accept or perpetuate any reasoning based on myths or cultural norms and rituals that see a girl child as a liability to the family, and in a way become cause for social evils and crimes such as foeticide.
2. I will not employ any girl or boy of less than 18 years as domestic help, or in any occupation that deprives them of the right to education, play & social life.
3. I will ensure that all girls in my family & those I knowhave equal access to quality education and development opportunities to be economically independent and are able to participate in all the decisions that are significant to their lives.
4. Acknowledging that all kinds of physical, sexual & emotional abuse on the girl child are perpetrated by close relatives, friends and acquaintances of the child, I will be vigilant towards realizing the right to protection of all children and promise to strongly voice issues that are silenced or ignored by not considering them a taboo.
5. I will not participate in any marriage ceremonies or rituals in which a girl under the age of 18 years or a boy under the age of 21 years is getting married.
6. I will respect and realize every girl child’s right to food & nutrition.

I demand action

1. I demand that the Ministry of Women & Child Development take immediate action to stop female foeticide through effective enforcement of law & takesevere legal action against offenders.
2. I demand that the Ministry of Women & Child Development set up autonomous law enforcement agencies to work against traffickers and exploiters with appropriate redressal mechanisms and assistanceprograms for the affected child.
3. I demand that the Ministry of Women & Child Development provide easy access to schools and create a safe environment, so that girls also readily attendschool.
4. I demand that the Ministry of Women & Child Development pass a separate legal act against Child Sexual Abuse.
5. I demand that the Ministry of Women & Child Development create intensive awareness about the ill effects of Child Marriage among people and abolish itcompletely.
6. I demand that the Government make it a priority toinvestigate malnutrition deaths and ensure policies and programs are put in place to prevent malnutrition deaths among children, especially girls.

To take the pledge and sign the charter, click

http://www.cry.org/mainapp/cryuserapps/gcpledge.aspx

Introverts..

There is something about the introverts that sets them apart from the crowd. There is something unbelievably attractive in them that draw me towards them. This is despite the fact that there are thousands of extroverts who manage to attract people more and at a greater speed. But an introvert manages to catch  attention while sitting quietly in a corner.
One of the reasons behind this is that fact that I am an introvert. They say a person understands another who is of the same kind. But if I put that aside there are lots of other reasons that attracts me towards them. They are very sober and most of the times intelligent people. They live in their own world and are happy with that. And on a lighter note, if a shy person can attract millions by almost doing no or less efforts then why put in more efforts and waste your energy. They have such serenity and beauty in them that makes people wonder and hence make them curious to know more about them. They are mysterious and really hold a great power in them. They have in them to make it big, though the world does not believe so. They are very private people who think that their privacy should not be hindered. One must expect a volcanic eruption if someone tries to invade their privacy and they think it is justified completely to take such a step.
Being an introvert I have experienced many a times situations, wherein people are not bothered about my opinion. Also, just because I do not discuss private things like what kind of a life you like to live and such stuff with each and every one, does not mean that I have no such things in my mind. In fact I have much stronger feelings than the extrovert ones. And I am sure all you introverts out there must have experienced such a thing at some point in your life.

I want to disprove the myth that introverts don’t make successful entrepreneurs, successful businessmen, successful film stars, successful management persons, successful execs, or any other successful names to reckon with. Shahrukh Khan is a self-proclaimed introvert. And the man needs no introduction.Introverts who know their job well don’t necessarily need to mingle with 100 odd people to make their presence felt. They don’t necessarily need to hit the dance floor with a vengeance or rock the party or bring the house down to be successful. They don’t need to dance-like-no-one’s-watching to be successful. They don’t need to steal the thunder at social dos. They don’t need to be the cynosure of all eyes when they walk into a roomful of people, they don’t need to be impeccable speakers or party charmers to be successful.

Its okay to keep to yourself, its okay to be yourself. If I am not comfortable meeting new people (who don’t add value to my life), I will not meet them. If I don’t feel like giving away my cell number or other personal details to a stupid someone or an acquaintance or a friend’s friend, I will respectfully turn them down. If I don’t enjoy partying, I will simply not party.

I rather have one true friend than a thousand fake faces masquerading as 4-am-friends. I rather enjoy a quiet dinner with a friend than go clubbing. I am an introvert, very shy of people but I am comfortable in my skin. I can’t be someone I’m not. I am very reserved and I enjoy my company to the fullest. I am a LONER and I like it that way.

I hate it when i stumble upon silly ads like Is your child an introvert. Help is just a click away. WTF! Like its some disease or a weakness.

Quite a few outgoing people I know are emotional wrecks. Is this being successful?

Now this post is not to take away from extroverts. But do you need to act extroverted to be successful?

Regardless of your personality traits, if you have the ability and expertise, confidence and the right approach to life, you can be successful.

I think to prove the efficiency of the person who is shy only one thing comes to my mind: action speaks louder than words. Our work and actions and results would definitely not be worth shying for but worth shouting for and letting the whole world know “we can make it”.

Voice Tap…

On sunday was the IIT-JEE. With the tabloids showing pictures of herds of students eager to give the exam, waiting outside the exam centers or even spending their night at railway stations, the IIT always gets all the spotlight. In a nation where every child’s parents have just one dream..”there child gets into the IIT no matter what it takes”.  Here’s one guy…correction one IIT fellow of mine, who keeps blowing my mind off with one or the other of his works. So,as it seems this fella is out there to inspire even more students to join the race for IIT , experience the life & on top of it all “Make a DIFFERENCE”…!

 

Coming back to the point, Mr. V @ VoiceTap…one of my stupid friends…ahemm…has joined hands with a very talented bunch of people & launched a webportal…  http://www.voicetap.in

This portal is one of a kind..it  allows people access to intangible knowledge that is not so easily available on the internet or in their zone of influence, by connecting them with relevant knowledge experts in a moderated and structured environment..From students to entrepreneurs they have something in store for everybody..!! Sounds strange to you?? Well see & experience for yourself. 

For all of you out there, who are confused, don’t know what to do or worst…are actually sitting & thinking how to do…this is definitely for you…Voicetap is a platform where you get to speak and interact directly with experts: people who have ‘made it’ in the field that is relevant to you. The service is delivered over the phone – and the calls are scheduled based on the interest levels shown for that particular call..

here’s a slide share presentation of the same, do check it out…

 

 

P.S. – This one’s not just for a friend, i wrote this post as at the end of the day even i am impressed with the idea…

Life just happens..!!!

sometimess I wonder if anything is Absolute? Permanent? Unchanging?
Is there still a right and a wrong?…. Gud and bad?…..Truth and lies?……Dark and light?…….Full and empty?….Love and indifference?
Memory and forgetfulness?

Maybe everything is negotiable, left on us entirely or half entirely for interpretation.
Sometimes we bend the truth to make it work for us. It is not the lies we tell, but how we match or transform our self or the situation to fit in.
We are faced with things that are not a result of our own making and doings.
Life just happens to us, while we continually try to fit in or make it fit in.